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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I would love to see the report explaining this. ;D

Man accused of assaulting police officer with stuffed monkey

According to the Des Moines (Iowa) Register, a 24-year-old Iowa man was arrested over the weekend for allegedly stealing a stuffed monkey from a convenience store and assaulting a police officer with it.

The man allegedly hit an officer in the face with the stuffed monkey after being stopped following his exit from the convenience store, according to the Des Moines Register. The man has been charged with fifth-degree theft, disorderly conduct and assault on a police officer, according to the report.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45945113/ns/local_news-buffalo_ny/
 

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What are you in here for?...
 

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I think we here at LIF should immediately start a petition to license all owners of stuffed monkeys and to totally outlaw stuffed monkeys made before 2010!
This is the ONLY way we can comabt things like this ;)
 

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SteveG said:
I think we here at LIF should immediately start a petition to license all owners of stuffed monkeys and to totally outlaw stuffed monkeys made before 2010!
This is the ONLY way we can combat things like this ;)
And we DEFINITELY can't have these in NYC....That would be a monkey of mass destruction!
 

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its not what he used, but the act itself................
 

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Putin, the new Ceasar. Veni,Vidi, Vici!
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But if my monkey isn't stuffed, can it be considered....sigh....a pre-ban monkey? How many bananas can the monkey hold before it's considered an assault monkey?
 

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..at least we don't care whether it uses soap or body wash...
 

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Is that your minkey? Reminds me of inspector Clouseau.....

(A beggar sits in front of a bank playing an accordian. There is a monkey sitting next to him as Inspector Clouseau walks up.) Clouseau: Do you have a license? Beggar: What? Clouseau: City ordinance 147-B prohibits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize without a proper license. Beggar: I don't understand. Clouseau: It is against the leu (law) for you to play your musical instrument. Beggar: Leu? Clouseau: What? Beggar: You say, it's against the leu? Clouseau: Yes. Unless you have a proper license. Beggar: What kind of license? Clouseau: A license that permits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize. Beggar: Commercial enterprize? Clouseau: Yes. You play that thing and people give you the muhnay. Beggar: People give the monkey the money. Clouseau: It is the same. Beggar: Oh, no. I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tel him what to do with his money. (Through the window of the bank, you can see that it is being robbed. One day I came home and I found him sitting in my living room. I let him stay, but he pays for his own room and board. Clouseau: Then the minkey's (monkey's) breaking the leu. Beggar: But he doesn't play any musical instrument. Clouseau: City ordinance 132-R prohibits the begging. Beggar: How do you know so much about city ordinances? Clouseau: What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind? Beggar: Yes. (full quote)
 

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PeepSight said:
Is that your minkey? Reminds me of inspector Clouseau.....

(A beggar sits in front of a bank playing an accordian. There is a monkey sitting next to him as Inspector Clouseau walks up.) Clouseau: Do you have a license? Beggar: What? Clouseau: City ordinance 147-B prohibits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize without a proper license. Beggar: I don't understand. Clouseau: It is against the leu (law) for you to play your musical instrument. Beggar: Leu? Clouseau: What? Beggar: You say, it's against the leu? Clouseau: Yes. Unless you have a proper license. Beggar: What kind of license? Clouseau: A license that permits the playing of any musical instrument in a public place for the purpose of commercial enterprize. Beggar: Commercial enterprize? Clouseau: Yes. You play that thing and people give you the muhnay. Beggar: People give the monkey the money. Clouseau: It is the same. Beggar: Oh, no. I am a musician and the monkey is a businessman. He doesn't tell me what to play, and I don't tel him what to do with his money. (Through the window of the bank, you can see that it is being robbed. One day I came home and I found him sitting in my living room. I let him stay, but he pays for his own room and board. Clouseau: Then the minkey's (monkey's) breaking the leu. Beggar: But he doesn't play any musical instrument. Clouseau: City ordinance 132-R prohibits the begging. Beggar: How do you know so much about city ordinances? Clouseau: What sort of stupid question is that? Are you blind? Beggar: Yes. (full quote)
Great bit. Goes with...

"That's a priceless Steinway"...."Not anymore"...
 

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And...."Does your dog bite?
"No"
Gets bit.
"Thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That's not my dog..."
 

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Before hit started hitting the officer did he say?
" look at the monkey look at the silly monkey"
 

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Mad Russian said:
But if my monkey isn't stuffed, can it be considered....sigh....a pre-ban monkey? How many bananas can the monkey hold before it's considered an assault monkey?
As many banana's as it want as long as it they are not in a {ok wait for it wait for it Yes } a banana clip or baneta mag!!!!!!!!

:donald:woohoo:1welcome
 

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Dan 0351 said:
And...."Does your dog bite?
"No"
Gets bit.
"Thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That's not my dog..."
One of my favorites!
 

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thetreewisemen said:
'I spanked a police officer with my monkey.'
GAAAAH! Mental Floss!
 
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