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True story...

My wife and I were having a hard time conceiving.

I had to get my sperm tested.

Three days with no "activity". I wasn't Wearing corduroys, if you know what I mean.

On a very cold January morning, we went to a clinic in Setauket to get tested.

The desk Nazi walks in to a full waiting room, kids, men, women, maybe 30 people in all and at the top of her lungs says she needs a sperm sample from Spider.

My wife reached out to grab me just a second too late. I jumped up and in my loudest voice said, "I'm right here. Where do you want it?"

She got very quiet.
 
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