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Jackbooted Thug
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Has anyone here had to enforce a radius clause on their ex? Mine wants to move out of NY state and take our teenage son. He says he wants to stay here but doesn't have the balls to stand up to her... Any words of wisdom?
 

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Here's how it works in a nutshell.

Adults have a right to live wherever they choose. Children under age 18, may be restricted. That means a court cannot restrict where your ex chooses to live, and if she relocates without your consent or a court order, the court's primary remedy is to change custody.

In order to relocate, your ex will need either your consent or a court order.

The standard for relocation is whatever the court determines is in the child's best interest.

A child's wishes will be taken into account as well. A 17 year old will pretty much do as they please but a 7 year old will do as they are told. The closer the child is to 18, the more weight his or her wishes will carry.
 

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Here's how it works in a nutshell.

Adults have a right to live wherever they choose. Children under age 18, may be restricted. That means a court cannot restrict where your ex chooses to live, and if she relocates without your consent or a court order, the court's primary remedy is to change custody.

In order to relocate, your ex will need either your consent or a court order.

The standard for relocation is whatever the court determines is in the child's best interest.

A child's wishes will be taken into account as well. A 17 year old will pretty much do as they please but a 7 year old will do as they are told. The closer the child is to 18, the more weight his or her wishes will carry.
Ignore my pm this is 100%
 

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Jackbooted Thug
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
He says he wants to stay in NY and stay with me. He also says he doesn't have the balls to stand up to his mother because she is going to throw the guilt trip on him. She tried to throw the guilt trip on me to get me to verbally agree..... In 2 years he graduates HS and nothing matters... My ex has played dirty in the past and tried to go after my job, he's no longer a little kid but I don't see things being any different.
 

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File with the court in family court. They will either enforce the provision or move custody. Your son will have to say wht he wants. The upside is, if he has a law Guardian appointed for him he'll have an adult voice speaking for him. I would also mention in the petition that she has given him guilt about it in the past. The sooner you file the better as it takes time.
 

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Your son does not need to stand up to your ex, only must state his wishes to a court appointed Guardian. Talk with a good attorney. If you need a recommendation, shoot me a PM and indicate what county you are in and my wife (an attorney, but this is not her field) can refer you to someone.
 

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He says he wants to stay in NY and stay with me. He also says he doesn't have the balls to stand up to his mother because she is going to throw the guilt trip on him. She tried to throw the guilt trip on me to get me to verbally agree..... In 2 years he graduates HS and nothing matters... My ex has played dirty in the past and tried to go after my job, he's no longer a little kid but I don't see things being any different.
Been there, sux and it's always the kids who are stuck in the middle. My ex took off to Florida with my kids years ago. Went to court and was told FL would not enforce a NY order for custody. Spent over a year in court (she never showed for dates, but again, FL would not enforce NY orders) and eventually got an order that my visitation would continue BUT travel costs were my responsibility, thanks NY.
Eventually got physical custody but it was expensive, time consuming and hard on the kids.
Go to court ASAP and protect your and your kids rights...he will thank you later.
 

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Jackbooted Thug
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Your son does not need to stand up to your ex, only must state his wishes to a court appointed Guardian. Talk with a good attorney. If you need a recommendation, shoot me a PM and indicate what county you are in and my wife (an attorney, but this is not her field) can refer you to someone.
A friend of mine who doesn't do this stuff went through his Lexis Nexis and forwarded me a bunch of cases plus the standards that the courts consider in this type of case. Last year when she first mentioned something I went to one of the Father's Rights meetings to get a feel for what I'd have to do. Of course they want you to retain them right away but I'm in a position when I have to let her make the first move both literally and figuratively. My Papers are pretty specific that she cannot relocate outside of Nassau/Suffolk and Supreme Court has sole jurisdiction. I know enough and have enough friends to help to file my motions without a lawyer, she does not so I'm not even sure where this is going to go, I'm pretty positive she's not even going to be able to sell her house without taking a huge hit.
 

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Now an Ex NYer
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PM Sent
 

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Jackbooted Thug
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
It cost me 6 figures just fighting with her for visitation when we split, she tried every trick in the book to get me forbidden from seeing him. We have so many plans that we've been working on from getting him a motorcycle since he can ride with me on a permit to rebuilding my old car that's been sitting for 2 years together. Every day is precious to me as there may not be a tomorrow... I've lost a bunch of friends to accidents and weird diseases in the last year and I'm not giving up a single second spent with my children I don't care how much it costs me...
 

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I've seen too many cops go through a painful divorce with children. Let the kid decide, he's 17 and in a short amount of time will be able to be on his own.
Sorry to hear you go through a tough time.
 

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First, I'm not a lawyer.

But it occurs to me that doesn't want to stand up to Mom MIGHT be convenient excuse not to hurt Dad's feelings. Bear in mind I know zero about the various relationships involved. But the one thing I DO know is that if he does not want to mover and she makes him, that will be 100 percent on her and everytime he faces a difficulty in the new place guess who's gonna get blamed for it?

You may also want to consider that in some cases, change is, in fact, good. And the fun parent is the one who comes and does cool stuff with a kid, not the one who buys the groceries and does the mundane stuff. Plus, if your ex gets to do what she wants, she may stop treating you like the enemy. So consider that too, in the end I'm sure it will all work out. Best of luck.
 

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Grand Poobah
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Has anyone here had to enforce a radius clause on their ex? Mine wants to move out of NY state and take our teenage son. He says he wants to stay here but doesn't have the balls to stand up to her... Any words of wisdom?
My friends ex ( psycho, nasty, angry, witch ex)tried to do that.
She wanted to move to NJ so her parents could help with the kids etc etc.
My friend said no. It was an easy win according to him.
 

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Jackbooted Thug
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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
First, I'm not a lawyer.

But it occurs to me that doesn't want to stand up to Mom MIGHT be convenient excuse not to hurt Dad's feelings. Bear in mind I know zero about the various relationships involved. But the one thing I DO know is that if he does not want to mover and she makes him, that will be 100 percent on her and everytime he faces a difficulty in the new place guess who's gonna get blamed for it?

You may also want to consider that in some cases, change is, in fact, good. And the fun parent is the one who comes and does cool stuff with a kid, not the one who buys the groceries and does the mundane stuff. Plus, if your ex gets to do what she wants, she may stop treating you like the enemy. So consider that too, in the end I'm sure it will all work out. Best of luck.
Do you have kids? This doesn't make a lot of sense...
 
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