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It's from the Onion, but there's more truth to it than most of what you'll read in a newspaper.


NEW YORK-At 4:32 p.m. Tuesday, every single resident of New York City decided to evacuate the famed metropolis, having realized it was nothing more than a massive, trash-ridden hellhole that slowly sucks the life out of every one of its inhabitants.

With audible murmurs of "This is no way to live," "What the hell am I doing here-I hate it here," and "F**k this place. F**k this horrible place," all 8.4 million citizens in each of the five boroughs packed up their belongings and told reporters they would rather blow their brains out with a shotgun than spend another waking moment in this festering cesspool of filth and scum and sadness.
"I always had this perverted sense of pride because I was managing to scrape by here," said Brooklyn resident Andrew McQuade, who, after watching two subway rats gnawing on a third bloody rat carcass, finally determined that New York City was a giant sprawling cancer. "Well, f**k that. I don't need to pay $2,000 a month to share a doghouse-sized apartment with some random Craigslist dips**t to prove my worth. I want to live like a go****n human being."
"You see this?" added McQuade, pointing at a real estate listing for a duplex in Hagerstown, MD. "Two bedrooms, two baths, a den-a f***ing den-and a patio. Twelve hundred a month. That's total, not per person."
Other incidents that prompted citizens to pick up and leave included the sight of garbage bags stacked 5 feet high on the sidewalk; the realization that being alone among millions of anonymous people is actually quite horrifying; a blaring siren that droned on and f***ing on; muddy, refuse-filled puddles that have inexplicably not dried in three years; the thought of growing into a person whose meanness and cynicism is cloaked in a kind of holier-than-thou brand of sarcasm that the rest of the world finds nauseating; and all the g*****n people.
http://www.theonion.com/article/84-million-new-yorkers-suddenly-realize-new-york-c-18003
 

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I feel that way 5 days a week! I hate the city and I hate it's inhabitants.
And now that there are homeless everywhere you walk I hate it even more.
I dread the days when my wife says she wants to into the city for one dumb reason or another.
The homeless are all over man. I see them constantly while working and there's nothing we can do about it.

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III%
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8.4M illegals come to NY every day, so it's a wash.
In New Yorkistan? Everyone is illegal in one way or another! If you went by the law word for word you could be thrown in jail for bringing home the kitchen knives you just bought at Macy's!

F'n $hithole is an understatement!
 

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airbrushart
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We need a sticker "DiBlasio is Good for Business" the communist mayor can give them away free
 

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I dread the days when my wife says she wants to into the city for one dumb reason or another.
My wife keeps saying the same thing and I ask why?
Its dirty.
It stinks.
The people suck.
It is expensive.
And there isn't anything in the city I can't do some place else.
You want to see a show; see what is going on at Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun.
Shopping; online cheaper. I don't want to give one damned dime to that liberal cesspit.
The only thing I want is a video of it sliding into the sea or an air burst right over Midtown.
Eff NYC!
 

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Lousy Shot
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My wife keeps saying the same thing and I ask why?
Its dirty.
It stinks.
The people suck.
It is expensive.
And there isn't anything in the city I can't do some place else.
You want to see a show; see what is going on at Foxwoods or Mohegan Sun.
Shopping; online cheaper. I don't want to give one damned dime to that liberal cesspit.
The only thing I want is a video of it sliding into the sea or an air burst right over Midtown.
Eff NYC!
I spent much of my youth in Manhattan but I hardly go there at all anymore. Twice a year is a lot now. I've been to most the sights worth seeing multiple times and that was back when they were all free. I've been to the top of the Statue of Liberty a couple times, and that was before they [LANGUAGE FILTER]ed the thing up in the mid '80s. I've been to 86th floor of the Empire State building probably 20 times. You used to be able to just walk in the lobby, past the guard and take an elevator. Now, I think it's $25 a pop. Intercourse them.

I think it's the same for the Freedom tower. You have to get tickets in advance and you're assigned a set time and date. I do plan to visit there one of these days, though. I have to see the museum and the memorial. That, and the Intrepid are still on my list.
 

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Sure there is. Lots can be done but our society doesn't want to do it.
Your right but I'm saying as an employee of the great city of NY there isn't anything I can do about them. I had to shush one along who was aggressively begging for money near a deli the other night.

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Well, once the $15/hour "we'll tell you what you have to pay your workers" wage targeted at robbing from the fast food chains and giving to the undeserving goes into effect, I think you'll see a big decline in business in NY. Fewer jobs, higher prices, harder to survive (without handouts) so people will have to go elsewhere to be able to make a living. Since they are targeting the 'big chains' simply because they think they can get away with it (deep pockets?), the liberal courts might rule that "equal treatment" requires that wage be applied to any and every low wage worker in any business regardless of the size of the business or the ability of the business to pay...... I don't dare hope that they'd throw that "rule" out. And how does this apply to FRANCHISE stores versus company owned stores - penalize an independent businessperson just because they made a sound business choice and affiliated their store with a national supplier/advertiser? Perhaps the stores will simply change their bisiness names to Burger Queen and O'Donald's and avoid the statutory robbery. Kind of like changing the stock on a Colt manufactured .223 rifle so the Un-Safe act no longer applies....
 
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