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Changing a character reference


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19 replies to this topic

#1 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted September 13 2020 - 04:00 PM

Hi, all.  Does anybody know if there's a procedure for changing a reference for the pistol permit?  One of my friends originally agreed to do it, but in the time it took for SCPD to process the application his wife talked him out of it "in case something happened."  I don't want to pressure him about it, so what can I do.  Do I need to redo the whole application and wait another 6-12 months?

 

 



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#2 TheKnot

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Posted September 13 2020 - 07:32 PM

Talk him out of what he's just giving a character reference of the kind of person you are, man some wives are just useless
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#3 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted September 13 2020 - 09:47 PM

Sounds like she got him with the "but what is something happens your name will be on the application" line.  I'm a little worried about what'll happen going forth, but he's my friend, I'm not going to pressure him into doing something he's not comfortable with.  I just hope I don't have to start again at square one.



#4 Wowzer

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Posted September 14 2020 - 07:12 AM

They usually don’t even call references. None of mine in Nassau were ever contacted.

#5 rezelution

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Posted September 14 2020 - 09:42 AM

he has to own up and take responsibility for his actions. You asked him for a character reference on an application and it takes time. He agreed to it and you should explain it to him. He needs to know the position he will put you in. How would his wife know if the NCPD would call him? Unless she checks his phone lol



#6 packetloss

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Posted September 14 2020 - 11:27 AM

Hi, all.  Does anybody know if there's a procedure for changing a reference for the pistol permit?  One of my friends originally agreed to do it, but in the time it took for SCPD to process the application his wife talked him out of it "in case something happened."  I don't want to pressure him about it, so what can I do.  Do I need to redo the whole application and wait another 6-12 months?

 

I remember way back when I did mine, I had gotten that reaction from some people.   It's completely bogus though.   By someone giving a character reference, they are not signing away their life in case you end up being a psycho.  They aren't professional psychiatrists who's reputation is on the line.   They are just giving a character reference.  I mean if your friend DOESN'T think you are an upstanding citizen that is a different story, but in case something happened has no standing.  They are not legally, financially or professional responsible for your actions.


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#7 notphilivey

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Posted September 14 2020 - 03:09 PM

I wouldn’t worry about it. If the character reference is in and notarized he will probably not even get called. And what will he say if they call? He can’t say you are a bad person so not to worry. Some wife.
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#8 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted September 14 2020 - 04:31 PM

The problem is that I need his signature on the second app they gave me during the interview



#9 2edgesword

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Posted September 15 2020 - 04:24 PM

So if I'm understanding this correctly he already completed and submitted the reference affidavit. Is that correct?

 

If that's the case I wouldn't "pressure" him but I'd ask him to talk to his wife and let her know his acting as a character reference does not hold him in any way responsible in case something happens.

 

I'd also mention that backing out doesn't look great for you because they may want to talk to his wife about why she pressed him to back out (concerns about "what if" or concerns about your character). I say this having no knowledge of anyone having been in this situation or whether an investigator would want to purse the cause for him backing out any further than your explanation. This sounds to me like something totally left up to the investigator to decide how he wants to go forward.



#10 packetloss

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Posted September 15 2020 - 06:37 PM

I'd also mention that backing out doesn't look great for you because they may want to talk to his wife about why she pressed him to back out (concerns about "what if" or concerns about your character). I say this having no knowledge of anyone having been in this situation or whether an investigator would want to purse the cause for him backing out any further than your explanation. This sounds to me like something totally left up to the investigator to decide how he wants to go forward.

 

Agreed, they are going to ask him for an explanation for why he backed out and use that against you.



#11 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted September 15 2020 - 09:43 PM

Agreed, they are going to ask him for an explanation for why he backed out and use that against you.

 

Yeah, I'm worried about that too.  My investigator seemed like a cool guy, but asking to change a reference can't be a good look.  What my friend told me was along the lines of 'i'm not super comfortable and talking with my wife she's worried about if something ever happens my name will be on your application.'  I only wish that he'd just told me 'no' in the first place and I wouldn't be in this mess.  I left a message for my IO asking about it, so either way the die is cast.



#12 packetloss

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Posted September 16 2020 - 08:54 AM

Yeah, I'm worried about that too.  My investigator seemed like a cool guy, but asking to change a reference can't be a good look.  What my friend told me was along the lines of 'i'm not super comfortable and talking with my wife she's worried about if something ever happens my name will be on your application.'  I only wish that he'd just told me 'no' in the first place and I wouldn't be in this mess.  I left a message for my IO asking about it, so either way the die is cast.

 

I guess it depends on how good of a friend he is, but I'd explain it to him that since he already agreed, his name is already on the application and he is now on the hook to explain to the investigating officer why he is not super comfortable.  As in, why he doesn't think you should get a license, not why he doesn't want his name associated with your application.  Well actually both of those represent a problem.  By not being super comfortable, he is implying he doesn't think you are responsible.  I mean does he drive a car?  Can anyone be super comfortable that they won't get into an accident any time they take their car out?  If we go by that, then everyone would just stay locked up in their homes all day.   I'd also explain to him again that these are character references, simply stating they know you and based on what they know, they don't think you aren't a threat to yourself or other people.   It's not like he's co signing a loan.

 

The ship has already sailed as far as his name on your application.  At this point it's as simple as either he doesn't think you are an upstanding citizen and are a threat to yourself or other people or you are not.

 

Failing all that, you could say that his wife is anti-gun and was giving him a hard time about it. 



#13 NewYorker424

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Posted Yesterday, 06:24 AM

I also had to change a reference because one of my friends moved out of state in the time it took to get an interview. I brought to the interview with me another completed applicant questionnaire with the new reference listed and they didn’t ask me any questions in regards. You have absolutely nothing to worry about. You don’t have control over the way people feel about being a reference for you. Tell the investigator exactly what you told us, they can’t deny you over the simple fact that one of your references changed their mind.


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#14 Nordon

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Posted Yesterday, 06:55 AM

It’s simply a tool to make applying more of a nuisance, CRs are not contacted, simply a step to slow things down or to make you say to yourself “this is a pain, screw it, maybe I’ll apply some other time”.  The whole process from start to end is meant to discourage one from applying.


Edited by Nordon, Yesterday, 06:57 AM.


#15 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted Yesterday, 03:29 PM

OK, got through to my IO.  He was a bit surprised I asked about it since they all came out good on the background check, but once I explained my friend was uncomfortable about guns, he was like 'sure, no problem.'  Hopefully this was just a hiccup in the process.  Thanks for the advice, everyone!



#16 NewYorker424

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Posted Yesterday, 03:31 PM

OK, got through to my IO. He was a bit surprised I asked about it since they all came out good on the background check, but once I explained my friend was uncomfortable about guns, he was like 'sure, no problem.' Hopefully this was just a hiccup in the process. Thanks for the advice, everyone!

When did you drop off your completed NYS application? I’m trying to find out how long it actually takes them to do the background check. They told me 3-6 month wait.


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#17 david111jr

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Posted Yesterday, 06:25 PM

When did you drop off your completed NYS application? I’m trying to find out how long it actually takes them to do the background check. They told me 3-6 month wait.


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Would also like to know lol.


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#18 Jaydee731

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Posted Yesterday, 06:38 PM

@Newyorker424

If my memory serves me correctly Spacemonkey1023's interview was a week before yours (last-ish week of August?) And 2 weeks after mine (8/12)
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#19 NewYorker424

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Posted Yesterday, 06:50 PM

@Newyorker424

If my memory serves me correctly Spacemonkey1023's interview was a week before yours (last-ish week of August?) And 2 weeks after mine (8/12)

Yeah I actually went back and checked after posting lol thanks.


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#20 Spacemonkey1023

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Posted Yesterday, 07:31 PM

I actually haven't dropped off my NYS application yet, this all came about when my first reference refused to sign it.  So now the IO said to bust out the whiteout and "very neatly" write in the new reference in place of the old one.  If I remember right they said about 4-6 months for the decision when I went for the interview on 8/19.  I got the impression the background on the new reference would be a few days when we talked.

 

 

When did you drop off your completed NYS application? I’m trying to find out how long it actually takes them to do the background check. They told me 3-6 month wait.


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